“what are you wearing?” my mom asked me. I looked at my self in the mirror. Dressed in tee shirt and jeans simple walking shoes…I looked……”casual”…”pls wear something better..for god’s sake we are going to a jeweler’s shop”. I was going to burst out laughing, but seeing my mom’s stern face, I kept quiet and changed to a better shirt…”is this ok?” I asked, knowing fully well that she won’t approve, she gave a disgusted nod and moved ahead. This was always the conversation we had when we decided to go to a shoe shop or some big shopping like silk, jewelry J
Yes I had noticed all this. And much more. I had experienced it. A lot of times. In past and also most recently. But unlike my mother who tried to be impeccable, I was always trying to hide whatever I had, and the dumb expression that frequented my face, always did its best to disguise. I loved always to make fun of such people. I don’t say that they were wrong. It was just like paisa bolta hain.
The usual attitude is seen from the common man as the watchman at the jewelry shop or the shoe shop person. Looking at me they always have doubts, I can’t blame them …but it shows in their eyes, that if I will be able to eat next day if I buy something exorbitant or not at the moment. Or that have I am in only for window shopping. And I always love to see their stricken expression when I flash my debit card having sufficient balance, or buy something for which I have been already judged worthless. I remember once I had been to one of these shoe shops in my usual deplorable self. And I gave the salesperson open mouth when I brought one of the best leather heeled ankle shoes. Somehow whenever I wear them they never cease to give me that “kick” of “fooled u” expression.
I have experienced these and such feelings when I was at odd ends ,pursuing a hobby after a post graduate degree, the people who gave me looks of “look at her…she should get a job but she is just wasting her poor parent’s money”, the same people got a nice jolt when I attained the height of being in the well paid profession born out of that pursuing of hobby. This is not only my experience, but maybe of any one who had been in similar position.
Recently I have experienced the change in people's attitude once they came to know that I am well off, a kind of "bieng pampered" where I earlier got almost a "step" and "ignored" feeling.
I love the anonymity. The façade of not having enough. Coz I love to see the genuine people whose feelings never change when I didn’t have much and when I had enough. That is the time when I see my true kinsmen and found my true friends. At such times I remember what once john f Kennedy (president of USA) had said once “forgive the insults but never forget them”. Yes for me these have been learning experience …and I always mutter amused when I have one of those … that.. “paisa bolta hain”
