An email to you

Dear Namu


I didn’t know how to begin. My lappie open in front of me, I thought of you and smiled. There was drastic change in you. No longer ‘why me?’ attitude, you had a new mantra now. ‘yes…so what’

It is not that you had a hunky dory life. Infact of all the persons I have seen you seemed to have suffered most on all fronts. Work-home. Personal and professional. You faced a lot of battles and had a lot of betrayals. I wondered sometimes how do you survive. But today I saw you and had to admit, its you who brought that missing care in my life. “appreciate life” is what you said. You nudging me to explore, forging me to move ahead, never budging and give even failure a best shot and move ahead. I have written about most of the people who matter to me, but somehow you always slipped out. Maybe my thoughts were destined to be typed today. “you made my weekend” I said. And maybe even you wont understand how much I meant it. I was unable to face end of the year, not much laughter and joke around, but you taught me to appreciate and improvise. “this is life and its seldom fair.” Is what you seemed to have told me. I smiled again and I could see my reflection in DELL inspiron. My eyes had got back the lustre. The shine. Thanks for the magic Nams.

--your devil friend

Ash aka chakli

Me

The struggle has becomes me, the fight becomes me

I am on the side of right the truth is definitely me

Weakness comes and tears are found in me

And though I crash horribly, soaring becomes me

Dejection comes to me but a thought comes

Trials fail but final tribulance becomes me

I come down but rising becomes me

Hurt to the bone but fight becomes me

My pain becomes my strength my tears become my solance

I try again …one more time to just so that fight becomes me

At times the fight seems dirty and all ego filled and much as I run away from it vainness becomes me

So then unwillingly I take my sword and leaving the griminess of brain I just prepare my self to fight again, the fight just becomes my shadow, it becomes me

For Suresh wadkar2

OK, now this is another song sung my mohd. Rafi and sharada and ofcourse hummed by “suresh wadkar” as I call my pilla when he garbles something long.


I love songs and as you know after 9.30 pm after all the Marathi saas bahu is over my mother dozes off to old songs. For me old songs act like a balm to whole day of IT company nonsense :) (ok my daily bread is non sense but what is not?)my kiddo incidently hums something nonsensical to sleep. But that day this song came and the fella actually hummed mohd. Rafi’s part “o mere dil….” And no its not my imagination but my mother and I exclaimed at the same time “he is humming the song” and started to laugh..

So this is for my ‘pilla’ aka “suresh wadkar”

Movie: Ghumnaam

Singer(s): Mohammad Rafi, Sharda

Music Director(s): Shankar-Jaikishan

Lyricist(s): Shailendra

jane chaman shola badan, pehlu me aa jao
o mere dil mere hamdam, baho me aa jao

hai jane chaman shola badan, pehlu me aa jao
hai o mere dil mere hamdam, baho me aa jao

madhosh hai jindagee, charo taraf bekhudee - (2)
thamo mujhe mai gira -2, laheraye dil kee lagee

jane chaman shola badan, pehlu me aa jao
o mere dil mere hamdam, baho me aa jao

panee jo ham par gire, ek aag tan me lage - (2)
tumko khabar kya sanam -2, kehte hai ulfat ise

o mere dil mere hamdam, baho me aa jao
oye hoye jane chaman shola badan, pehlu me aa jao
badal se barse nasha, bhigee huyee hai fija - (2)
thandee hawa jab chale -2, kanpe hai dil kaa jiya

o mere dil mere hamdam, baho me aa jao
hai jane chaman shola badan, pehlu me aa jao
hai o mere dil mere hamdam, baho me aa jao
mm mm mm mm..........
jane chaman shola badan, pehlu me aa jao



PS : I don’t like sharada’s voice…nothing is audible and the feel is lost in her voice but mohd. Rafi is altogether a different story.. the guy has sung like absolutely drunk in love. 

Sau baar

This was one of the songs that used to be frequently seen in the era of doordarshan and chitrahaar and used to be heard on vividhbharti at 11.30 am in the morning. I used to love to see this song and hear the music, a bit haunting melody and amazing highs and lows, the lyrics I found were simple but keep repeating like rewind in your mind long after the song is heard.

Now a days we manage to see old song repository (:):)) at 9.30 pm after all marathi saas bahu crap is over. lovely and a bit forgotten songs freshen up the memory. of the actors and singers who have at times perished in the time. soothing songs lull to sleep and long after the song has ended it plays in mind as droopy eyes pop to sleep.

This song is from a black and white era and on two not that well known actors handsome Pradeep kumar (one who cannot act according to my dad) and shakila (‘hoon abhi main jawan aye dil’ from aar paar any one?), a bit of mirage (the hero seen and not seen..gayab aya kinds)the enormous waterfalls, sung by mohd. Rafi, (who is slowly becoming one of my favourites but always next to Kishore kumar ofcourse) written by ‘Asrad bhopali’ and music given by ‘ravi’ from the film ‘Ustadon k ustaad’
sau baar janam lenge, sau baar fana honge
ai jaane wafa phir bhee, ham tum naa juda honge

kismat hame milane se, rokegee bhala kab tak
inn pyaar kee raaho me, bhatakegee wafa kab tak
kadamo ke nishaan khud hee manjil kaa pata honge (CH)

yeh kaisee udaasee hai, jo husn pe chhaayee hai
ham dur nahee tumse, kahane ko judaayee hai
armaan bhare do dil phir ek jagah honge(CH)

The song has already started in my mind as I work in a near empty pre Christmas office and no…I am not seeing my better(?) half some cubicles farther :):):)

Strawberry farm n jamming session

In my first weekend in US, all of the friends decided to go to strawberry farm.We collected a basket and bellyful for each. My kurta still has sweet stains of strawberry kisses.
After all euphoria I wondered how am I going to exhaust so many berries..with  my better (?) half not that keen and my monster (?) ready to just make a wine session with crushing berries, I had to make use of them. After a bit of research I decided to make a jam. of course minus the preservatives. I remembered my mother make jam of Alphonso mangoes for my nephew. she had seen the recipe on the TV. it had worked well minus the preservatives and the jam just needed to be kept in the fridge.
"Are you sure of this? or you can just eat them up" my better(?) retorted when he understood of my intention. but filled to the brim the earlier day, my mind and stomach couldn't handle another berry. so when my kiddo and he went for the afternoon siesta I began. I knew the proportion 1:2. (1 part of strawberry to 2 parts of sugar) luckily the pantry had confectioner's sugar. I made strawberry puree and added sugar in it and kept the whole stuff on low flame of the coil (electrical stove top), stirring intermittently. First the mix became very liquid. my heart sank. "I should have followed him" I thought. I almost emptied the whole mess in the sink, just then I saw. the edges had thickened. they were showing a semi solid rim. "its working" I thought excitedly., emboldened, I kept stirring. after what seemed to be an eternity, I took a few drops and put it in cold water, they became semi solid. "Done" I thought. "its still a bit liquidy..." my better (?) but his eyes held excitement too. I filled semi liquid mass in a container with lid. and almost forgot about it. at night a new of our friends turned up. a casual remark and all wanted to see the jam. "it has set" my better (?) half retorted in appreciation. "wow its good" the friends said and immediately asked for the recipe. I caught my better (?) half's eyes on me. His protegee was finally learning cooking.

A totally forgotten song of R.D Burman

“hmmm…hmmm..hmm..hm” the song went in my head. Now that is weird but when such a song goes in my head, usually the picturization comes in my head, if I have seen it. There was young Urmila matondkar and Nagarjyna in the song. “he doghe kontya pic madhe hote” I wondered. Nagarjuna esp is not that common name in bollywood. Though the rangeela gal is. Then the lyrics slowly dawned from my harassed brain “tum jo mile to laga hai…mil gai mujhe zindagi”…n I guess Suresh wadkar is the singer. Somewhere, Drohi was labeled as the movie. Promptly the song, actor and actress and movie went the reminder. For prompt search on google once in office. Who will switch on the system only for the search. The moment in office, and wiki to my rescue, I searched the movie. And on google. Which confirmed the song and movie. Now came a shock to me. the music director was none other than RD burman.  “iska music director RD burman hai” I told my better(?) half on communicator with a shocked smiley, who was busy searching the song. He just smiled. Then was a big pause. “tum gaana sun rahe ho na…shaane …bhej do…” I typed. In a few minutes I received his usual “delete after downloading” mail, blame it on limited mailbox space.

The song starts with a bit of music which was the typical of the musicians then and which was just so good. Kind of creating environment for the song. And then the song started. “tum jo mile to laga hai….jaise mili hai zindagi…” Simple lyrics of Javed Akhtar and equally simplified music of the maestro “the RD burman” sung by Suresh Wadkar, this is a just so forgotten but somewhere in the memory song. It takes you in that phase when music was not noise and pictuarization was not exotic locales and skimpy outfits. It was more of understanding the thoughts the soul. The essence of the song. An ideal song to be dedicated to that someone whose worth at times we end up forgetting in life J

 tum jo mile toh laga hai, jaise milee jindagee

jatee kaha hain yeh rahe, jin peh chalee jindagee

itna mujhko kab tha pata, aisa bhee ik ganw hain

rasta takatee mera jaha, inn palako kee chhaw hain

meree toh thee dhup me hee, abb tak palee jindagee

tum ko pake aisa laga, jitne the ghum kho gaye

sadiyo sey ham patthar ke the, abb mom ke ho gaye

itane hansee rup me hai, dekho dhalee jindagee

jine ko jite the magar, itnee khabar thee kise

dil me aisee galiya bhee hai, jin me hain sapne base

sapne mile toh khilee hai, ban ke kalee jindagee

My earphones back in my ears I started working, subconsciously in the lanes of memory, the fingers typing away words deciphered, putting sense in them.

Diwali for me

Its Diwali time again. A normal and irritatingly busy lane somehow looks beautified by the akash kandils/paper  lanterns that adorn so many minuscule stalls throughout the lane. The always crowded lane somehow looks that with a purpose. Antsy small and large flickering lights just seem to make the atmosphere a bit more wondrous. Every sweet and confectionary store looks superabundant with fresh and dry sweets, the namkeens and the take away and gift boxes. The simple mithai /indian sweet and dry fruit boxes and all the glitz and glam hampers of brands known and unknown. Diyas (lamps), the ubiquitous traditional brown ones and modern avatars that have been painted in brighter tones adorned with gold and silver and ones with mirrors, stones and lace. The “china” lanterns shimmy along with “Indian” akash kandils. And the stores dazzle with offers and discounts. From food items to electrical appliances, everything is just ready to be taken with discounts. The jewelry stores flourished with gold, silver and diamond, all set for the “dhan te ras”. Small shops and large are full to the brim with clothes ready to be worn, accessories ready to be matched. Something new and in trend always makes an appearance be it in something to decorate or something to adorn yourself with. The fireworks ready to dazzle and go with a bang all towering, small and large…just ready to go off.

For me it’s only at such times that I don’t get annoyed with the jams, the traffics, my face agape with wonder reveling the beauty and that makes a shoddy overcrowded lane a fantasy land…and that is the season of magic…the festival of magic…that is Diwali.

From a nomad

I wanted to write again…for a real long time…but I should blame it on my laziness that even if thoughts were as clouds, they rarely found a way to be computed (hehehe)

A kid later and life really changes. Its already a year and my pilla (as I call him sometimes) has already grown to be an individual. No longer clingy, docile, he seems to be having a thought process of his own, a inferal temper and a weapon of tears, he tries to have his way.

It has been two years since I decided to have him. I would wonder “one year later maybe….” And then the process of carrying him. His kicks, antics and movement and one fine day after a wait of barely 9 months, desperate to be in the world that he dreamt of, Siddhant was born. Then the lack of sleep, the fragile kiddo…who would mew instead of crying. A calm disposition n would get up only when hungry.

It was only yesterday that he gave his first smile. The first time he flipped, the first time he crawled. He is one already. For whom I run from work. For whom I will have guts to do anything, my pilla aka Sid. This one is for you. I may have missed a lot of things since you have been born, but surely it was worth it.



“what shall I write on…” I wondered as I stared are the screen. It was office with work worming its way out. But I had to. It felt like a compulsion. For a real long time, absolutely long I mean, I was not breathing. Music, reading and writing had taken a backseat. But not anymore. There were many new songs that I heard and some found a place in my heart. Like my current disposition, one song always comes to my mind by its very way of singing “Dil…sambhal ja zara…”

The song it self is sung in a lovely lazy way. Sweet and hapless manner…that darling dil u are falling in love…so pls be aware…

The song starts with a melodious piece of piano music. Then the song starts …a bit uncommon but from between “Jab jab tere paas main aaya, Ik sukoon mila….” Almost same piece of piano music lilts throughout the song almost repeating but which doesnot seem like one…The song is sung by singers who are actually unknown, they don’t seem to be amateurs.

I finally conclude the writing before I move back to my piece of …ahem….translation .

“Dil.. Sambhal ja zara

Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu

Dil.. yahin ruk jaa zara

Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu

Aisa kyunkar hua janoon naa

Main janoon naa”

To think of it

Finally the 14 hour flight landed on the grounds of opportunities. Some aspirations and dreams left behind, some compromised and some sacrificed. Overall content good.

I was not awestruck. sometimes puzzled and sometimes wondering what will be expected the next. My better (?) half was overloaded with stress as he had to take care of me n our 1/4 ticket, plus luggage and the immigration sucks.

I called up my mother to tell her of our safe and sound journey. "so how did you find USA?" she asked, to which I looked around and said "ohh...cleaner airports and replace some coloured people with whites" my mother laughed at it and after a few more niceties I kept the phone. our 1/4 ticket was almost in the chair...his head played the stopper role...we then sat in a baby place having a baby steward (not more than 18 maybe). the plane reached us to our destination, a taxi and we were at my better (?)half's destination.Home was good. Spartan furnished.n definitely full of small luxaries...

I took a deep breath...a new journey had started :):):)